


When You Fall in Love With Your Best Friend

by kingvandam



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Heavy Angst, Like just angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29728923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingvandam/pseuds/kingvandam
Summary: Fuck this night. Fuck being in love. But mostly, fuck Roman Reigns for stealing his fucking heart.
Relationships: Dean Ambrose | Jon Moxley/Roman Reigns
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	When You Fall in Love With Your Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> love ya, here's some angst!

_ Fuck this. Just fuck it all. _ It was like a mantra in Dean’s head.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck.  _ The only thing louder than his thoughts were his footsteps as he made his way along the road. Each step sounded different. His left like a  _ thump _ and his right more like a  _ crunch _ . Closer to town they’d be making the same dull sound, but down on this side of town? Along the edge of town? He’s lucky enough there’s a street light every ten feet or so. So he’ll take walking one foot in the dirt the other on the road. He likes the contrast anyhow. 

He could see his breath in front of him. There’d probably be frost in the morning. Not like Dean would know, he probably won’t even be up until deep into the afternoon. Maybe he’d ask his mom. He won’t, it’s still nice to think he would though. She’d probably just give him a lecture on how he’s sleeping his youth away. He’s not really though because youth happens at night. The day is for functioning members of society. People who work their lives away. Dean hasn’t quite gotten there yet. So he’ll enjoy living in the dark while he still can thank you very much.

Stiff fingers worm their way towards the pockets of Dean’s hoodie. They were turning red and he probably should’ve worn something a bit thicker. To be fair he had planned on spending the night in a house. One with heat and blankets. At least that’s what he had planned. Now the only blanket he had was the alcohol still coursing through his veins. Well it was better than nothing at all. Didn’t stop the wind from freezing his fingers nearly into place. 

This was arguably the worst part of it all. He couldn’t for the life of him tell if he actually wanted to go home or not. On one hand his bed sounded absolutely amazing. On the other, well there was nothing actually wrong with going home. It was just something he found hard to explain. Out here alone in the world he felt like both the center of it and completely lost to it. He felt in between, and in between was where he was safe. There was no one else, therefore no one else could hurt him. 

That wasn’t entirely accurate though was it? He could still hurt him. His mind and thoughts could slither down and wrap around his lungs. Sort of like a boa constrictor. That’s what the footsteps were for, and the sounds in the woods. It wasn’t cold all year round, but when it was that kept his mind occupied too. Everything about it felt like an alternate universe. Like he’d stepped into a new plane of reality. Sometimes he’d hoped that it was less of a feeling and more of a reality. More than that he hoped that some day the in between would swallow him whole and everything would just come to an abrupt stop. That hasn’t happened yet though. 

The in between won’t swallow him whole tonight either. No matter how much he wished it would. Instead he’d just keep wandering until he’d wandered his way straight into his bed. The only positive he could think of was that it wasn’t a school night. He still had a whole day to prepare. One thing that’s not lost on Dean is how pathetic it is to have to hype yourself up to do the same thing you’ve been doing for as long as you can remember. Unfortunately logic and reason don’t have the ability to change the way he feels in the pit of his stomach. 

Logic and reason might actually be making it all worse. Reality is all just a reminder of how much it all hurts. How much he wishes it was him and not her. How much he wished he’d never let it get this bad. He was in way too deep and the worse part was watching the surface get further and further away. There was a cement block tied to one of his ankles and he was the one who tied it there. Seemed like a good idea before he jumped in.

Now the whole ordeal had become entirely ridiculous. Tonight he’d taken off running. People say you can’t outrun your problems. Maybe they just aren’t running fast enough. Maybe if he gets a head start he can hide and the problem will go right past him. Unlikely but it’s nice to think that there’ll be a day where too much physical contact with his own best friend won’t activate his fight or flight response. He’d always hoped he’d be a fighter. Turns out he’s a runner. Figures. 

Someday though. Someday he’ll see Roman kiss his girlfriend and not die inside. Someday he’ll find somebody of his own. One day he’ll wake up without a world shattering crush on Roman fucking Reigns his best fucking friend. Life is bullshit if you ask Dean. Aren’t crushes supposed to be silly little things that pass. This feels like it could very really be the death of him. Whether he dies of a broken heart of alcohol poisoning is up for debate though. He reckons the alcohol poisoning would be far less embarrassing though. At least that way Roman would never find out about his stupid damn crush. 

If Roman were to find out he’d die of embarrassment instead. Even if he was already dead, he’d come back to life just to die again he’d be so embarrassed. At the end of the day it’s humiliating and all Dean can do is suffer through it and ignore the way his heart clutches at every smile. Being in love with Roman sucks because of the proximity, but it’d suck so much harder with distance. That was the most bullshit part. He couldn’t stand to be near Roman, but not being near him hurt even worse.  _ Fuck that the most. _

_ Thud. Crunch. Thud. Crunch. _ Thoughts had no place in his head, at least those ones didn’t. At some point he’d sped up. He had no idea when, probably a long time ago given how the cold air burned his lungs. Funny that, how cold air burns. Harsh breaths were another good distraction. Another steady rhythm that followed him from on end of the nightmare to the other. Well at least the nightmares stayed during the day for the most part. The nights that were plagued with them were the worst. For a while he was just hopping between nightmares. For now though he could count his blessings by the dreams he had each night. He took comfort in forgetting them in the morning.

Unfortunately he couldn’t forget his problems in the morning. Later morning rather since the clock on the kitchen wall read 4:23 am. He let out a slight breath, just a few more feet and he’d be able to fall straight into bed and succumb to his exhaustion. Just a few more feet and he could forget. For a few hours at least. It’d have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> oh hey, long time no see. so basically i've decided to jumpstart a new series. originally it wasn't supposed to be a new series but turns out i desperately need validation and if i don't get it i get discouraged. so i wrote a quick little ramble of a fic to jumpstart the project :P. warning it's going to be really dark and i am actually super excited to share it with all of you! muah


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